TEACHER:    Why are you late?

STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

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TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find   North America. 

MARIA:  Here it is. 
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered   America ? 
CLASS: Maria. 
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TEACHER:    John, why are you doing your math multiplication

on the floor? 
JOHN:   You told me to do it without using tables. 
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TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' 
GLENN:   K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' 
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong 
GLENN:    Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.   
(great answer! kid)
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TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? 
DONALD: H I J K L M N O. 
TEACHER:   What are you talking about? 
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.   
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TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that

we didn't have ten years ago. 
WINNIE:    Me! 
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TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty? 
GLEN:       Well, I'm a  lot closer to the ground than you are.   
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  ' 
MILLIE: I  is... 
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.' 
MILLIE: All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'    
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TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his

father's