Begging for your indulgence one more time and having sucked down four cups of coffee, I will again put forth reading stuff for the bored and lonesome. Twas a tough year to find comic relief on the forum thanks to the horrible tornado having struck our lake and communities in April. Also, depressed economic conditions linger but not so much so for Lake Martin property. This was pointed out by John Coley in a most excellent article in the October Lake Magazine. Thus, my “Stop Digging” award goes to John. Now, in a much lighter vein, let the insanity begin.

FEATHERS NEVER LIE AWARD again goes to lakngulf for his 2011 Eclectic Chicken Auction Predictions. My favorite was for the month of August that Dirt Diva would finally get her “pool boy” and that it would be MAVERICK! (Sadly, the Eclectic Chicken Auction fell victim to the tornado in April…hope they are back up and running.)

WHILE YOU’RE AT IT AWARD goes to Pontoonfisher. In a July thread about landmarks of rope swings around the lake, Pontoonfisher remarked, “while you’re at it, you should also point out the closest hospitals” to the rope swing locations.

BEER AND ‘MATERS AWARD goes to Summer Lover. McGill had advised lakngulf to feed his mater-eating squirrels Bud Light. LNG apparently did and SL observed that he had a “bunch of wasted squirrels with red lips running around the yard, swinging from trees and sunning on the pier” and should be considered pre-marinated grill food!

MISSING PIECES AWARD goes to lakeplumber. A dyslexic Loachapoka syrup-sopper was not the only one to be mystified by the POS acronym used in a mid-summer thread. So too was lakeplumber. Upon learning its true meaning, lakeplumber quipped that he guessed he had “worked around it long enough that he just didn’t notice it that much“.

CIXELSYD AWARD goes to NCII and Dippin Skinny. NCII was reporting on her observations at the Goat Island sand bar. She posted that even though there was a sign clearly saying NO GODS ALLOWED, the little canine creatures were being let off of several boats to run loose on the island. She later realized her mistake and changed GODS to DOGS prompting Dippin Skinny to remark, “well thank DOG for that…I thought I had been banned from the sand bar before I even found out where it was!”

ADVICE TAKEN AWARD goes to Stripernut. Stripernut had a big problem with yellow jackets in his yard and got much forum advice on solutions so he condensed them all into one master plan..and I quote, “from the great suggestions posted, I have formulated a plan…drink beer while I’m cleaning fish to draw them in, as if that’s a problem, then skewer a striper head with a bamboo stick and place it over residual fish slime cooler water to which I will add soap. The little bastards won’t have a chance!” …and neither will your neighbors peering over the fence…

GOURD POLE DOWN AWARD goes to George. In August, Feb said that he had so many purple martins that it made his gourd pole fall over. Well, you just knew that was trouble…so George jumped right in to offer a way to prop it up…no, I won’t even go there…but George did! The best LNG could do there was add that he “had never had a purple martini in a gourd”…no further comment here.

FUNNIEST PET POST goes to HP HQ who linked to the Ultimate Dog Tease video. I will attempt to add that link here. Dirt Diva responded that she did a ‘BigFoot’ all over her ‘puter. I can only hope that she was referring to a spewing incident!

(guess you will have to cut and paste)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw

CREATIVE POST OF YEAR AWARD goes to lakngulf and NCII. In his August CAT Tales post, LNG wrote a song for Cat called “Save a toon, ride a Sea Ray” whereupon NCII collaborated with the Parrot’s Foot Band and set it to music and a private posting on YouTube. The link is still there….backtrack to August 19 for the thread. This was really good!

MYSTERY POSTER OF THE YEAR goes to Lakemartin Bunny who made 11 posts in less than 2 days (never to post again) stirring up more than a little curiosity…and in so doing, brought out Barneget’s pent-up hate for rabbits.

THE AIRLINES--THEY ARE A CHANGIN’ AWARD goes to NCII. Referring to McGill’s routine in-service procedure, NCII said she “hoped the STIMULATOR time was fun”. This was obviously an inside joke but it prompted several to inquire about signing up for it!

MOVE OVER HANK, JR. AWARD goes to Kizma A. for his funny and controversial rendition of a Hank, Jr. classic. Now if LNG and Kizma could team up with NCII and the Parrot’s Foot Band, somebody could make some money!

PUDDING THICK ENOUGH ALREADY AWARD goes to CATBOAT for re-wording Kizma’s Top 10 reasons for making pontoon boats illegal. Kizma wrinkled more than a few feathers with his original post but CAT just let it all hang out with his attempt to improve it…then realized he was in trouble and gracefully bowed out from the thread. (Sept 4)

LEAPIN’ LIPITOR AWARD goes to Mack for his Grilling and Recipes Forum post. There were many great posts on that forum this year but this one I could relate to the most.

PLUGGED PORTAL AWARD goes to Mr. Hodja. Yes, the Boat Maintenance forum also had its share of great posts. LNG posted a tongue-in-cheek list of things we could fix on the Maintenance forum….and the Hodja man had to add one more--the dreaded plugged portal!

DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDREL AWARD goes to LongshoreBoater. Not to overlook the Jokes Forum and the many hilarious jokes posted, LongshoreBoater posted A TOUCHING CHRISTMAS STORY on December 19...too funny. Kudos also to HubCap and the others for their frequent contributions.

DOUBLE GOOSE AWARD goes to Little Talisi. Yes, the cooking impresario knows geese. NCII started a bewildering thread about defective ice at Walmart. McGill thought that Grey Goose eggs belonged in the thread. Talisi thought that it couldn’t be Grey Goose or there would only be two…well, you had to be there…told you it was bewildering…

I hold in my hand the last envelope (great applause)….

VIRTUAL TOAST AWARD to Geno and Smitty, who together might say, “Drink in the love, drink in the joy and happiness” and if that doesn’t work, “go jump in the lake”

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!