Name:	LonghornBoater -	Reply
Subject:	Plan to improve economy
Date:	5/17/2016 7:26:32 PM

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.   This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:   Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?   A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.   Q. Where will the government get this money ?   A. From taxpayers.   Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?   A. Only a smidgen of it.   Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?   A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a ; high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.   Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?   A. Shut up.   Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:   * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will  ; go to China or Sri Lanka .   * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.   * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or  ; China.   * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.   * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .   * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .   * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go  ; to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.   Instead, keep the money in America by:   1) Spending it at yard sales, or   2) Going to ball games, or   3) Spending it on prostitutes, or   4) Beer or   5) Tattoos.   (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )   Conclusion:   Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard  ; sale and drink beer all day !   No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

 

 

 

 

 

Name:	architect -	Reply
Subject:	Plan to improve economy
Date:	5/22/2016 4:15:35 PM (updated 5/22/2016 4:40:06 PM)

Reminds me of a serious but humorous editorial piece written by Henry Grady back in the 1880's advocating for the industrialization of the economy of the south.  I cannot remember the particulars, but he described going to a funeral of a Confederate veteran saying something along the lines that the hearse was made in Ohio, the casket was made in Wisconsin with steel hinges from Pennsylvania, the deceased was wearing a suit made in New Hampshire, a hat made in New York and shoes from New Jersey and taps was played on a bugle made in Connecticut.  "The only thing from Georgia was the dead man and the hole in the ground!"