Name:	LonghornBoater -	Reply
Subject:	Rectum Stretcher
Date:	11/3/2015 12:10:49 PM

> While she was 'flying' down the road a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
>
> The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'
>
> To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'
>
> 'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
>
> I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.
>
> The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
>
> 'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide.'
>
> 'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?' he asked.
>
> 'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'
>
> Traffic Ticket $95.00
> Court Costs $45.00
> Look on the Cop's Face................ PRICeLeSS

Name:	architect -	Reply
Subject:	supposedly true story
Date:	11/5/2015 9:08:15 AM

A old, now deceased, friend of mine originally from Mobile told the story about when she and her sister were pulled over for speeding by an Indiana state trooper in the 60's.  He walked back to the car with a stern look on his face.  She put on her best southern accent and said "Good day to you officuh, I jes bet you've stopped us to sell us a coupla tickets to the Indiana State Policeman's Ball haven't you?"  The cop without any pause replies "No mam, the Indiana State Police don't have balls. I pulled you over because..." in mid-sentence he stopped and a pained look crossed his face, he folded his citation book, said "ladies please slow down and drive carefully.", tipped his Smoky Bear hat,  walked back to his car and drove off.