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Name: |
HubCap
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Subject: |
New Directives
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Date:
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1/23/2010 5:39:57 AM
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> > Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America > > > Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.' > > > You must now refer to them as > > > APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS . > > And furthermore > > > HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: > > > 1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a > ' BREASTED AMERICAN. ' > > > 2. She is not 'EASY' - She is > > > 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.' > > > 3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a > > > 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..' > > > 4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a > > > 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.' > > > 5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes > > > ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.' > > > 6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a > > > ' LOW COST SERVICE PROVIDER.' > > > HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: > > > 1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a > > 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.' > > > 2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is > > > ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.' > > > 3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He > > ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.' > > > 4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in > > 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.' > > > 5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL A**' - He develops a case of > > RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.' > > (Loved this one!) > > > 6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's > > 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE'
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