Name:   lakngulf - Subject:   Wear Chest Waders says Summer Lover Date:   1/2/2012 9:31:43 PM

First of all, our deep and sincere thoughts and prayers for the residents of Middle Road.  While feathers were scarce over the last few months, the strength, courage and resilience of these fine folk was obvious.  We honor them with a renaming of the coming year’s predictions:

Middle Road Musings

January:   The Webmaster gets his bits and bites mixed up and mislabels the Political and Food forums.  Hound and Hodja carry on an interesting thread about “roasting the scoundrels” and Mack wants a recipe.   Trying to fix that, the Webmaster gets the links confused for the Political and Jokes forum, but no one notices.

February:  As the economy improves slightly in Coosa County, NCII tries to decide the products and services to be offered by her new company:   Hanover Incorporated  (HI).   Will it handle vintage cycle repair, house design, prescribed burning, studio recording, deck and ramp building, boat refinishing, horse breeding,  medical mobility, or butt smoking.   That last reference does not refer to someone she shot in the rear end after caught stealing her generator and s’imulator.

March:  Russell Marine hires wedooseadoo to run a springtime Public Relations campaign.

April:  Since he is not an advertiser, the forum police ( McGill, Lil Talisi and MrHodja) ban Summer Lover from using the words  “bumper”, “dock”, “beer”,  “pole” and “catboat”.  Summer Lover stops posting.

May:   Mariah1, Mckaygmc  and BoatsRFun organize a “Meet Me in May”  gathering for each night during the month of May.  They begin the month with friends at La Posada, Niffers and Uncle Nicks.  Things are going great until one night at Big B BBQ  Tarpon and Feb argue about who is the best shot.  They settle it then and there shooting squeezable catsup at lakngulf and Summer Place.

June:  Mack installs a fish feeder, and finds a way to inject pure lard into the catfish pellets.  He grows  and catches some whoopers in Parker Creek and comes up with a new dish for the smoker:  Boston Whaler Butt.

July:  Temperatures on Lake Martin reach record highs.   Kizma,  Catboat and HPHQ are able to get the Three Lakes Boat Ban reversed for 30 days when they scientifically prove that beer stays colder on fast boats, and bumpers look better on big waves.

August:  The toll road construction near Russell Crossroads is finally complete.  They convinced the State that it should be a toll road when they connected it to the bridge to nowhere, which still goes nowhere.  Proceeds are committed to pay off the first four road construction contractors, and then fund Russell Incorporated Protect Our Furry Friends  (RIPOFF).

September:   Not content with the stand-offish feeling that they get from pigskin pickin’ and fantasy football, BigFoot and McGill decide to organize an ol’ timers full contact football league.  Maddog,  Lil Talisa, DirtDiva, Tarpon, George, P.C., ot, Murph, blmeanie,  Summer Lover, and bama4life  all quickly sign up.  John C purchases “bald island” from Water’s Edge and creates a make do ball field on the hillside.  MartiniMan buys stock in Russell Medical Center ER.  The season never happens,  however, because Summer Place keeps arguing about how many national championships he has won, even before the league’s first game.

October:   Alabama Power meets for three days with Russell lawyers and accountants to learn about the legality of the “use fee”.   They conclude the meetings just in time to declare a “3 foot tax” on all lake owners and visitors who use the extra 3 feet of water provided during the winter months.

November:  No candidate is elected President and no one notices the difference.   In January, taking advantage of the situation, former Presidential dogs “Occupy the White House”.  FlGirl, Barneget, and Hound are hired as gate keepers to be sure the dogs are tagged and chipped.

December:  Supertitious about the year 2013 lakngulf decides to forgo the new year predictions.    BigFoot looks back over the 2012 forum postings and cannot figure out which of the seven should receive an award.