Always trying to keep my friends informed and politically correct.     Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, let it be known that Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as   'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as   APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore,   HOW TO SPEAK ABOUTWOMENAND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. ' 2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.' 3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.' 4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.' 5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.' 6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'   HOW TO SPEAK ABOUTMENAND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.' 2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.' 3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.' 4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.' 5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.' (Loved this one!) 6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'