Jokes: Southerners or Suthunuhs
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Name:   HubCap The author of this post is registered as a member - Email Member
Subject:   Southerners or Suthunuhs
Date:   3/28/2012 4:55:11 AM





Suthunuhs!


Southerners know their summer weather report:

Humidity

Humidity

Humidity





Southerners know their vacation spots:

The beach

The rivuh

The crick



Southerners know everybody's first name:

Honey

Darlin'

Shugah



Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes

Driving Miss Daisy

Steel Magnolias

Gone WithThe Wind



Southerners know their religions:

Bapdiss

Methdiss

Football



Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

Chawl'stn

S'vanah

Foat Wuth

N'awlins

Addlanna



Southerners know their elegant gentlemen:

Men in uniform

Men in tuxedos

Rhett Butler



Southern girls know their prime real estate:

The Mall

The Country Club

The Beauty Salon



Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:

Having bad hair and nails

Having bad manners

Cooking bad food



Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

_____



Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

_____



Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of "yonder."

_____



Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going
to town, be back directly."

_____



Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl
in the middle of the table.

_____



All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
the term, but they know the concept well.

_____



Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!

_____



Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can
be 1 mile or 20.

_____



Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

_____



No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

_____



A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

_____



Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines… and when we're
"in line,"... we talk to everybody!

_____



Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.

_____



In the South, “y'all” is singular, “all y'all” is plural.

_____



Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

_____



Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and
coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast
food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right without Tabasco , and that
fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

_____



When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

_____



Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

_____



And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her sweet
little heart"... and go your own way.

_____



To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your
Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and
call me in the morning. Bless your little heart!

_____



And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they’re fixin' to
have classes on Southernness as a second language!

_____



Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !



There ain't no magazine named "Northern Living" for good reason. There
ain't nobody interested in livin' up north, nobody would buy the
magazine!



Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish
they had a’been! If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little
heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.
Other messages in this thread:View Entire Thread
Southerners or Suthunuhs - HubCap - 3/28/2012 4:55:11 AM
     Southerners or Suthunuhs - architect - 3/28/2012 5:07:20 PM



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