Jokes: True Tombstone Inscriptions
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Name:   HubCap The author of this post is registered as a member - Email Member
Subject:   True Tombstone Inscriptions
Date:   1/28/2011 7:58:36 AM


Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: 
Born 1903-Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. 
It was. 
******************************
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: 
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up And no place to go. 
******************************
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle
in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: 
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. 
The Good Die Young. 
******************************
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: 
Anna Wallace: 
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna. 
Old clerk Wallenstein wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna. 
******************************
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: 
Here lies Johnny Yeast. 
Pardon me
For not rising. 
******************************
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: 
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. 
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake. 
******************************
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: 
Here lays The Kid. 
We planted him raw. 
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw. 
******************************
A lawyer's epitaph in England: 
Sir John Strange. 
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange. 
******************************
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, 
England cemetery: 
Reader, if cash thou art In want of any, Dig 6 feet deep; And thou wilt find a Penny. 
******************************
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: 
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune. 
******************************
Anna Hopewell's grave
in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna -
Done to death by a banana. 
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go. 
******************************
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket,
Massachusetts: 
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. 
He is not here, there's only the pod. 
Pease shelled out and went to God. 
******************************
In a cemetery in England: 
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I. 
As I am now, so shall you be. 
Remember this and follow me. 
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: 
To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know which way you went. 
====================================

Other messages in this thread:View Entire Thread
True Tombstone Inscriptions - HubCap - 1/28/2011 7:58:36 AM
     True Tombstone Inscriptions - architect - 1/28/2011 8:14:31 AM



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