Civil unions, referred to as "marriage" as now legal between member of the same sex. Some churches are marrying people of the same sex. You don't have to like it or approve of it, but that's how it is. I am in agreement with you on the point as why anyone who is gay or lesbian feels they have to make it public. Marriage equality will only take place when there isn't a photo or a comment as there was when Abby Wamback kissed her wife upon winning the World Cup Soccer Game.
Life is too short to get your knickers in a knot about things you have no control over. I have friends that are gay - one couple who has been married for 10 years now. They explained some of the legal reasons for it which I felt were rational. Now that it is legal in across the U.S., they will gain additional legal benefits. I am not gay, but I'm happy for them. They have been together for 25 years. I believe in live and let live.